


Learning to Love in Lockdown

by Batgirl_xcv



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Declarations Of Love, Domestic Fluff, Dorks in Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Happy Ending, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Roommates, Slow Burn, Steve Rogers Feels, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:21:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23529064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batgirl_xcv/pseuds/Batgirl_xcv
Summary: Steve Rogers, some may call a social hermit.Bucky Barnes enters his life when he least expects to need it.Lockdown, a word enough to scare even the toughest war hero.But who says you can't love? Just because the world stops doesn't mean love has to.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 13
Kudos: 60





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Lockdown sucks. But love doesn't. Neither does escaping reality. 
> 
> Enjoy!

With the current chaos of the global health situation it had meant that Steve had been working from home for the past week. His job at the local VA meant he was still able to reach out to clients through video calls and emails where possible. He and his work mate Sam Wilson kept in regular contact; as much as they were colleagues they had become close friends during their time working together. Steve wasn’t a loner as such, he just chose to keep his crowd small, that was enough for him. The state was currently in a lockdown, a word which initially terrified him, sure he may have experienced mentally scarring scenes during his time on tour overseas, but this was something effecting his civilian life. He felt as though he’d only just become accustomed to getting groceries and frequent visits to his favourite coffee establishment to now having that stripped to the bare minimum, leaving him feeling rather trapped despite his minimal exploration of the city itself. Never one to complain though he was grateful for the roof over his head and ability to continue working, something which many of his fellow colleagues weren’t able to do during this time. The only other concern on his mind was that of his roommate, Bucky Barnes.

Bucky had moved into the spare room of Steve’s suburban ground floor apartment several months back. It wasn’t as though he needed the money but knowing how expensive the cost of living was in the city he’d decided it wouldn’t harm having company, anything to help someone out, he couldn’t stand the thought of someone struggling to have somewhere to call home, as he had done as a child. The room itself wasn’t anything particularly special, enough for a good sized double bed, dresser, wardrobe and desk at the large window overlooking the backyard. Bucky had responded to his advert relatively soon after it’d gone live. Upon seeing a Mr James Barnes application and credentials Steve had deemed him suitable; financially stable and a clean record, that was enough. However, meeting Bucky for the first time he’d almost regretted saying yes, the guy was beautiful; blue-grey eyes that reflected every ounce of light and full of soulfulness, dark brunette hair which he’d tied into a bun with strands loosely framing his face but not completely covering the most perfectly angled jawline he’d ever seen. _Beautiful_. It’d been quite some time since those words had even crossed Steve’s mind, having turned into a bit of a recluse since the breakdown of his relationship just over eighteen months prior. Bucky was polite, albeit a little shy rarely sharing the living room with Steve he preferred to keep to himself and his room. The most animated Steve had seen – well heard – the other man was on his weekly Skype calls to his mom and sister, 7pm every Saturday night. Not that Steve had been paying attention or anything.

During his week at home Steve continues to hear the other man leave the house at the same time each morning, just before 8am and return shortly after 2pm. Shorter than his usual working day but still requiring to leave the house nonetheless. All Steve knew from Bucky’s application was that he worked in the food industry, most places were closed in accordance to the current situation but clearly Bucky was still working. Sitting at his kitchen counter Steve hears the lock of the front door click, looking up at the clock on the wall opposite sure enough it reads 2:10pm. Bucky enters the apartment quietly, as always, toes his off shoes and walks through into the open kitchen living space.

“Hey..” Steve offers from his seat in the kitchen.

“Jesus -” Bucky’s hand flies over his chest as he comes to an almost comical abrupt stop.

“Sorry man, didn’t mean to startle you.” Steve smiles sheepishly holding his hands up in the air.

Bucky drops his hand to his side, letting his rucksack fall to the floor. “It’s okay, my fault. I’m not used to being home at this time, feels weird.” He shrugs.

Steve huffs out a soft laugh. “You’re telling me, I get out of bed, grab my laptop, sit on the couch and that’s my office. Well – or here -” He emphasises with his hand to the kitchen.

Bucky nods and tucks a strand of hair behind his ear. “Well I won’t interrupt, you’ve got work to do I'll just -” He takes a few steps towards the corridor leading to their adjacent bedrooms.

Steve waves a hand dismissively. “It’s cool, this is your house too. And it looks like we’re going to be here for a while longer yet.”

Bucky just nods, a pained expression flashing crossing his face as he grabs his bag and hastily heads towards his own room. Steve sighs, running a hand over his week long beard growth before returning to the emails at hand. Bucky’s room remains silent for the remainder of the afternoon, an unsettled atmosphere lingering over the apartment. Opting for a quick and easy dinner of pasta Steve leaves the leftovers in a bowl seeing as Bucky was yet to surface from his room, five hours after coming home. After finishing his own meal he quietly walks towards Bucky’s room, hesitating outside the closed door when he hears muffled voices.

_“But mom – you’re alone. How will you get groceries? What if your car breaks down going to the store? What if you hurt yourself? Mom please.” Bucky audibly sniffles, his voice breaking._

_“I know it’s not going to be forever, I know. I just wish Becca hadn’t moved out. If I hadn’t got this job, I could be home. We could be together – I know you’re healthy mom of course I do – I just wish I was with you instead.”_

Steve takes a step back, he’d heard enough to feel like he was invading Bucky’s privacy. If his parents were still been around he’d be the same, a feeling of emptiness tugs in his chest hearing the concern Bucky has for his mom, he’d do anything to have one last conversation with his parents. Rubbing a hand over his face he retreats back into the kitchen to cover the untouched food, leaving it on the counter with a note for his room mate.

**_Thought you may be hungry! Don’t be a stranger, if you have any worries you know where I am :)_ **

With that he grabs his laptop and heads into his own room, his work could wait until tomorrow, Disney+ was calling his name. Yes he’d caved and finally purchased an annual subscription, a little childhood nostalgia never hurt anyone, especially now. After settling on the X-Men series he changes out of his clothes into an old sweater and just his boxers, sure he was working from home but he had to have some normalcy in his day, even if it meant throwing on a shirt and jeans for no reason. Sitting back on his bed he hears the quiet creek of footsteps in the hallway, he smiles to himself hoping Bucky will take his offering, both the food and maybe to talk, wishful thinking but a guy can dream right?

After an indefinite amount of time later Steve is startled awake by a knocking on his door. Clearly falling asleep only a couple of episodes into the second series he pushes himself to sit against the headboard where he had slumped into an uncomfortable position resembling a misshapen croissant.

“Yeah? Come in.” He calls, his voice thick already gravelly from sleep.

Bucky pushes the door open enough to peer his head around, his eyes automatically going to the TV and then to Steve, noticing his dishevelled sleepy appearance. “Shit, did I wake you? I’m so sorry- I just – the TV – I could hear -” He stares at Steve wide eyed like a deer caught in headlights.

“Hey, no, it’s fine.” Steve reassures him, running a hand through his already tousled hair with one hand and the other simultaneously attempting to pull his sweater further down remembering his lack of clothing.

“Is everything okay?”

The other man nods. “Yeah – I was just going to say thank you for the food. I was just going to make a bowl of cereal but that was way better so thank you.” A small smile curves at the corner of his lips.

Steve smiles in return, thanking the current dim lighting for hiding the sudden flush to his cheeks, the beard didn’t hide everything. “Don't mention it, I always make too much. You’re always welcome to anything I make you know. I’m glad you liked it.”

“I did, so – yeah – anyway – enjoy X-Men I used to love that show as a kid.” The other man gestures to the screen, briefly slipping his right arm through the door to point at the television.

“You can watch if you want!” Steve offers rather excitedly before mentally cursing himself at his seemingly sudden offer as he watches the other man’s confused expression between himself, Steve and the bed. “I mean, I'll give you my log in if you’d like, that way you have it too.”

Bucky stares at Steve with an unreadable expression for several incredibly long seconds. “You’d do that? I can pay towards it.”

Steve shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it pal, here I'll write it down.” He pushes himself off the bed to grab a piece of paper and a pen from his bedside table, scribbling down his details before he takes the few steps over to the door where Bucky remains firmly planted only with his head peering around the door. Steve holds out the paper which the other man takes, his eyes infinitesimally glancing down at where Steve’s hand rests on his hip. It’s been a while since they both stood in such close proximity, apparently frozen on the spot as Steve stands unable to tear his eyes off the other man despite physically unable to see anything but his face, but that’s enough to set his heart racing and the blood rushing down south.

“Goodnight then.” Bucky speaks up after several moments, pulling Steve out of his trance giving him a quizzical look.

“Yeah – yeah of course, night Buck.” _Get a grip Rogers. Get. A. Grip_. He rolls his eyes at his stupidity watching as Bucky retreats to his own room, leaving him standing in the doorway of his room, confused and aroused with X-Men still neglected in the background.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so there was more.

The next morning much to Steve’s delight he can feel the warmth of sunlight streaming through the window, a sign of brighter days to come he thinks to himself as he pads into his en-suite bathroom. Luckily for Bucky he had the privilege of the main bathroom so neither man had to share facilities. Not that Steve would have minded, _at all_. When he eventually makes it to the kitchen, laptop in hand he’s surprised to see Bucky sitting on the couch, his gaze firmly fixed on the TV, which as Steve fully pays attention he cant help but smile as the all familiar opening to X-Men echoes through the living area. He plants himself down on one of the kitchen stools, turning on his laptop for the day.

Bucky not noticing the other man’s appearance doesn’t flinch, that is until the coffee machine whirrs to life causing him to pause the TV instantly turning to face Steve with wide eyes. “Shit I’m sorry, I forgot you had to work.”

Steve grins from where he’s standing next to the fridge. “Bucky it's fine, carry on I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”

A faint blush creeps up the other man’s cheeks, _not_ going unnoticed by Steve.“I feel like a kid again.” He smiles shyly.

“Nothing wrong in that bud. It’s good sometimes to go back to the past.” He half shrugs, empty mug in hand.

Bucky nods, an infinitesimal flash of hurt? sadness? evident in his eyes.

Noticing this but not wanting to break this – moment – he continues about making coffee. “Carry on seriously, I can work from here, it’ll give me something to watch to take a break from staring at this screen all day.”

Bucky’s lips curve into a half smile. “As long as you’re sure. It’s just easier to watch it here than on my phone.” He holds his phone up as if to prove it to Steve.

The other man nods, now holding two mugs. “I promise. Do you want a coffee?”

As with the night before Bucky freezes, staring at Steve with an unreadable expression on his face for several moments. “Sure – black, two sugars.”

Steve sets about making the coffees before grabbing both mugs and heading over to the couches.

“Here.” He stands behind Bucky holding out the drink _not_ captivated by how soft the other man’s hair looks and how he’d do _anything_ to run his fingers through it, or pull it. _Enough._ He curses himself yet remains stoic so his poor roommate doesn’t catch on to his most private thoughts.

“Thank you.” Bucky all but whispers as he takes the drink, his index finger briefly covering Steve’s at the exchange.

Feeling every nerve and fibre ignite at the smallest touch he takes a seat at the other end of the couch making sure there’s as much distance between them both. “You mind if I watch for a bit? Not sure I’m feeling up to the real world yet.”

Without a word Bucky presses play, curling into himself in the corner of the couch quietly sipping his coffee. Both men watch two episodes in silence paying attention to the screen, okay, Steve may _occasionally_ glance at the other man who is clearly too engrossed to notice. His hair is only half up and he’s got a stubble covering his cheeks, more than usual.

“So, you’re not working today?” Steve asks desperate for some conversation, anything to stop his mind spiralling into a mess of unbelievably stupid thoughts.

Bucky tears his eyes away from the TV to look at Steve. “No, they don’t want many of us in until this is over. Guess I'll be here more, not like we can go out anywhere else.” He shrugs, casting his eyes back to the screen away from Steve.

“I know, it sucks I’m not going to say I’m loving it either but we’re safe at least. Can I ask what is it you do for a job? I know your application said food or something but I didn’t want to come across as nosy.” He questions knowing Bucky is listening even if he’s not looking.

“It’s fine, I guess you’ll need to know if I’m not earning anything.” Bucky laughs humorlessly, turning back to face Steve. “I – uh – I work in a bakery down town, but at the moment we’re catering for the homeless and vulnerable in the city, sending things to those who need it most, breakfast, lunch, that kind of thing.”

An unexpected wave of emotion comes over Steve, his eyes becoming glassy. “Buck – that’s amazing. Seriously. And don’t worry about money, that’s not important right now.”

“Thank you. But if I am in the way just tell me and I’ll disappear I know your job is important. I – uh- I found your business card on the counter once.” He admits, staring down at his lap as his cheeks flush faintly. What he fails to tell Steve is that he _may_ have pocketed said card and kept it safely in his wallet.

Steve chuckles softly. “Oh - yeah sorry about that, I’m always dropping things. I love my job, it’s hard but rewarding you know?”

Bucky nods, the television remote spinning between his fingers.

Taking the hint Steve stands, offering his hand to take Bucky’s empty mug. “Right, I’ll let you get back to watching, I probably should face the world.”

“Thanks again for the coffee.” Bucky smiles softly in return as he hands Steve his mug and presses play, the room once again being filled with the nineties cartoon.

Luckily for Steve he is positioned towards the living area so he can watch X-Men - _Bucky_ – easily. The other man remains curled into the couch for a couple more hours as Steve does his best to maintain focus on the emails he has to send, his clients need him, especially during the current uncertainty of the world. Just as he’s about to close his laptop for a break he looks up to find the space in which the other man occupied, empty. His heart picks up of it's own accord as he scans his eyes around the space for the brunette. Before he can register it his feet are walking him towards the hallway, just as he’s about to knock on Bucky’s bedroom door, palms sweating, he hears footsteps behind him.

“Steve?” Bucky questions, his eyes narrowed with a hint of bemusement behind them.

Steve turns on the spot so fast his eyes struggle to focus. “Oh there you are!” he lets out a breath of relief, his right hand grabbing his chest.

“Yeah?” A frown forms across Bucky’s brow as he continues to stare at Steve quizzically.

“I – uh – I looked up and you was gone.” Steve shrugs, he may as well be honest.

For the first time Bucky lets out a soft laugh. “I was in the bathroom, I do shower you know.”

Steve finally focuses enough to take in the other man’s appearance. His hair is damp and fully down and he’s holding a towel under his arm. “No of course – I just – sorry.”

“It’s fine. I’ve not broken out of here or anything don’t worry.” He smiles running his free hand through his damp hair.

Desperately needing to change the subject to save himself from further embarrassment Steve steps around Bucky to head back into the kitchen. “So seeing as we’re both here did you want lunch?”

“Oh – yeah sure. I won’t be long just gotta sort this mess out otherwise I won’t get a brush through it.” He huffs out a laugh pulling at the strands of his hair.

Steve feels his face heat up as he’s unable to tear his gaze away from watching the other man’s slender fingers wrap around his hair. He nods in reply and all but sprints the few paces into the kitchen, scrubbing his hands roughly over his face. It’s been a while since he’s made lunch for anyone but himself, putting together two plates of sandwiches feels incredibly – domestic – another feeling he has not experienced for quite some time. He places the kitchen utensils in the sink to wash and braces himself on the side with his back to the room as he takes several steadying breaths. “ _It’s just lunch. You eat this every day. He eats this every day.”_ He repeats to himself in a quiet mumble, unaware that Bucky is silently watching him from the edge of the counter.

“Are you okay?” A concerned voice pulls him out of his inner panic. He turns around to find Bucky – hair down – perched on the stool he’d previously been sitting on, looking at him with a soft yet concerned expression.

Steve grips the sink harder, his knuckles whitening as he slowly turns around to face the source of the voice. “Of course.”

“Are you sure? Because if you grip that sink any harder we’ll be washing up in the bath tub.” He chuckles.

Steve lets go of the sink, pushing himself to stand between the counter and Bucky. “Yeah, sorry – here – I made us – you – here.” He turns back to the counter to grab the plate and holds it out between them. Bucky eyes the plate and Steve before taking a step forward, releasing the object from Steve’s grip and goes to sit on the couch without a word. Once seated Steve picks up his own plate with a trembling hand, debating whether to remain in the relative safety of the kitchen where he could keep his distance, or ask Bucky if he can once again join him.

“You’re missing the last episode.” Bucky’s voice calls from the couch. _Huh, decision made._ He thinks to himself as he slowly makes his way over and sits back down on his side of the couch. He finds the other man sitting with his knees up to his chest, the plate precariously balanced on top as he happily eats the food Steve’s made. He can’t help but glance across, smiling to himself.

“Pretty sure I’m not the TV.” Bucky raises an eyebrow laughing as he picks up a few chips, turning his attention from the screen to Steve.

Steve, almost choking on his sandwich whips his head back to the screen. _Fuck._ “I know – sorry – you just – it’s your hair – down – it’s nice.” _Nice? Nice?! God help yourself Rogers._

“Oh – thanks.” Bucky mumbles, staring intently at his half eaten sandwich.

They sit in an almost awkward silence as the episode continues, however, less than ten minutes later Bucky stands, half eaten lunch still on the plate. Steve looks up from his spot on the couch. “You carry on – I’ll catch up later.” and with that Bucky is gone.

Left feeling confused and a little – okay a lot – disappointed, Steve continues to watch the cartoon just staring blankly at the characters in blurs of colour. As the episode comes to an end he turns off the TV and resumes work back at his laptop, attempting to focus yet the silence echoing from Bucky’s room proving to be too much of a distraction. With a frustrated sigh he closes his laptop, grabs his wallet and keys before heading to the front door, getting groceries was deemed an essential reason to leave your house and Steve couldn’t spend another moment sitting in the silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thankyou for kudos and all, always appreciated!


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Missing home sucks, especially now.

Sat in his room twirling Steve’s business card between his fingers Bucky lets out a frustrated sigh after hearing the front door close. This is exactly why he kept to himself, afraid he’d say something stupid to the ridiculously attractive man who had let him live in his home. He already cursed himself for how he’d acted over the last twenty four hours, let alone the frankly terrifying prospect of being stuck with Steve for weeks yet, if only he could go home.

Moving out of his family home hadn’t been a decision he’d taken lightly. His current job had been offered to him by a friend and at seeing the elation in his mom's face when he’d told her had been the deciding factor that he could do it. He could move state and live alone for the first time in his twenty six years. He’d chosen to study close to home and stay with his mom, she was a single parent to him and his sister and he’d taken on the role of the male figure in the household, without him there he was terrified his mom wouldn’t manage. Finding somewhere to live had been surprisingly easy with Steve’s advert taking his interest straight away with the room itself and relatively quiet neighbourhood. He knew he’d struggle living in the bustle of the city, that life wasn’t for him. That had all been simple enough, but then there was Steve, a man nothing like he had ever imagined. The name Steve Rogers had conjured up images of an older man in his fifties maybe, a high flyer working a corporate job in the city. What he had not expected was the incredibly attractive and charming, late twenties Steve, bearded and all, hair pushed back from his perfectly kissable face. Let alone his body, those shoulders. _Fuck._ Bucky had barely been able to refrain the embarrassing whimper which had threatened to escape his lips the day he met Steve.

Thanking whichever gods decided to take pity on him he was glad Steve hadn’t been overbearing and let him have his space, he’d sat with Steve on the couch several times but was nervous he’d end up saying something stupid or cause Steve to kick him out. He’d not exactly said he was gay, it wasn’t like he was planning on bringing anyone back he rarely went out and if he did it was because his friends had dragged him, but since moving here he’d also left some of those friends behind and he definitely didn't have the social needs to replace them. Much to his surprise – _delight_ \- Steve appeared to be single, no sign of a ring, no photos of a significant other. Not that it mattered, of course it was Steve’s home after all. Bucky knew from the moment he’d moved in he would keep his distance from Steve, it was just a stupid crush. He’d been single a long time and Steve just happened to be an attractive man in close proximity. Every single day.

Since hearing about the state lockdown Bucky had been dreading the day when it inevitably meant having to spend time with Steve. He couldn’t spend twenty four hours a day stuck in his room he wasn’t that much of a social hermit. Only two days in and he felt like he’d fucked up, not even knowing how to take a simple compliment for fuck sake. But it had come from Steve, that’s what mattered. He’d felt Steve’s eyes on him, almost raking over his body. Steve had never given the impression he was uncomfortable around Bucky, but maybe if he knew he was gay it would make him uncomfortable, or want to be as far away from him as possible and kick him out when everything was over. Or, _what if – what if Steve was – no chance,_ Bucky took a deep shuddering breath and let the small card drop to the floor. Keeping his distance was something he was good at, so that’s what Steve would get.

“Fucking keep to yourself He doesn’t even know you.” Bucky mumbles to himself, almost stomping back into the kitchen to grab whatever he can find in the cupboard to eat, only eating half of Steve’s – his – lunch was coming back to bite him. Throwing the food down onto his bed he hears the front door close. Putting his headphones in he blocks out the world, _thanks Steve_ he inwardly smiles to himself as he scrolls through Disney+.

-

Walking through the door Steve instantly senses the heavy silence throughout his apartment. Not wanting to make a fool out of himself _again_ , he busies himself sorting out the groceries which should cover both men for a good week. He’d picked up a few snacks he’d seen Bucky buy himself, the last thing we wanted was the poor guy suffering, knowing that he was already missing home. At least that’s what he told himself. Once the majority is put away Steve heads over to the couch, staring at Bucky’s empty spot he sighs and picks up the remote aimlessly scrolling through the channels settling on some rerun of a reality show he’s seen countless times. The other man still hasn’t appeared from his room, again. Not that it matters but Steve can’t help the niggling thought that it’s his fault for the other man’s disappearance considering how well they’d been getting along that morning, to the point he questioned himself if Bucky was even flirting with him. Being bisexual Steve had faced flirting from both sides, as much as he still appreciated the beauty in women his serious – well one serious – most recent - relationship and occasional one night stands, (which he’d instantly regretted), had been with men. With Bucky, the guy was so unassuming he was hard to read. There had been glimpses of hope that maybe Bucky was into guys but that was always pushed to the back of his mind. The brunette had never brought anyone back to the apartment nor did he seem to be attached to anyone back from his home town. As Steve forces himself to prepare dinner of some kind he can’t help the selfish thought that only he’ll be getting Bucky for the foreseeable future, just the two of them, alone.

“Fuck” he curses to himself, dicing up carrots with more vigour. He and Bucky weren’t even friends, let alone _ever_ being anything more.

He forces dinner down, taking one look at the left overs before throwing them in the bin. Getting into bed restless he attempts to relax with some breathing exercises he uses with his clients down at the VA. He didn’t exactly suffer too bad with anxiety since returning home, but every veteran carries some with them no matter what they say, Steve just chose to push on and help others to avoid his own problems. Eventually he falls into a fitful sleep.

Bucky, being the night owl that he is quietly pads into the kitchen to make himself a bowl of cereal, upon spotting the Oreo's and other snacks in the cupboard he smiles to himself at Steve’s generosity. As he goes to wash his bowl he notices the clear leftovers from Steve's meal in the garbage, a sinking feeling hits his stomach. Disappointment. They’d only been in each others company a short time and it’d already ended up going south. As he heads back to his room he hesitates outside Steve’s door but upon hearing silence he retreats to his own room feeling deflated.

-

The next few days remain much the same, both men avoiding one another at all costs, occasionally crossing paths in the kitchen or hallway, neither of them saying a word, that is until the following Saturday – _S_ _kype day._ Seeing his mom brings the emotions back of how much he misses her and feels trapped. She is fine as is his sister. But he just wants to go home. The heartbreaking sobs coming from his room must be heard by Steve but he’s relieved the other man doesn’t attempt to bother him. Just before midnight he decides he should leave his room a headache and hunger setting in. As he opens his door there lies a note.

_Food in the fridge if you want it. Made tacos :)_

The gesture alone causes Bucky to tear up – again – he bends down to pick it up before heading into the kitchen. He warms the food as quietly as he can not wanting to wake the other man at this time of night that’s the last thing he wants. He settles on the couch his stomach grumbling at the smell of the food which he practically inhales, clearly more hungry than he felt. Just as he’s finishing up footsteps sound down the hallway gaining on the kitchen, he turns his head to see Steve, clad in nothing but a pair of boxers trudge into the kitchen to pour himself a drink. It’s not until he’s about to head back to his room does he spot the man sitting on the couch, his eyebrows raising into his hairline in surprise.

“Hey..” Bucky mumbles from the dim lighting where he’s sat.

Steve’s brow furrows, his eyes adjusting to the light. “Buck?”

“Sorry it’s late.” Bucky apologises and half shrugs.

“It’s fine. Are you okay?” The other man scrubs a hand over his beard, stepping into the light more leaving his drink on the counter.

“Yeah.” Bucky nods, his voice audibly strained.

“I’m glad you found my note.” Steve’s lips curl into a half smile as he gestures to the empty plate in Bucky’s hand.

Feeling himself blush he looks down at said plate. “It was great thank you, I needed it.”

“You’re welcome like I said anytime.” Steve replies, folding his arms over his bare chest.

An awkward silence fills the room for several moments as both men steal glances at each other.

Steve clears his throat.“Well night Buck.”

Bucky blinks several times until his focus centres back on the half naked man only several feet away. Only now does he spot several tattoos covering Steve’s chest the dim lighting acting as a spotlight, illuminating each one.

With a brief wave of his hand Steve heads out of sight.

Bucky sighs deeply, not wanting to face being alone. “Hey Steve -” he calls out into the empty room, internally cringing at the sound his own voice.

A moment later a shadow casts over the light as Steve’s head rounds the doorway. “What was that? You say something”

“Uh -” He stutters, staring up at Steve his physique once again stripping his mind of the ability to form a sentence.

Now Steve is the one giving him a questioning look raising an eyebrow.

“Just – I’m sorry – for the other day.” He replies lamely.

“It’s okay Buck, I’m sorry too I shouldn’t have said that to make you feel uncomfortable. I want you to feel like this is home too – I – I know you’re missing you're home but if there's anything I can do...” He trails off not wanting to sound too suffocating as much as he wants to wrap the brunette tight in his arms and keep a smile on his face.

With that Bucky can’t help the sudden sob that escapes his lips as fresh tears fall at the mention of home. He misses it so much it physically hurts. With his palms pressed into his eyes he feels the couch dip next to him as Steve removes the empty plate from the cushion he’d placed on his lap.

“Hey, hey, its okay.” He soothes his voice soft.

Bucky just looks at Steve his eyes bloodshot from already having spent the evening upset before looking back down at his lap picking at the lint of the cushion he’d wrapped his arms around. He’s acutely aware of Steve’s lack of clothing but too upset to let those thoughts even cross his mind.

“You miss her don’t you? Your mom?” Steve questions, his voice barely breaking above a whisper.

Bucky nods. Steve’s heart all but breaks seeing the man in front of him crumble.

“Can – would you – I can -” he stumbles over his words, Bucky looks up at him his eyes shining with amusement and unshed tears.

Steve carefully places his right hand on Bucky’s left arm, gently rubbing his thumb over the other man’s wrist and forearm, Bucky shudders at the touch but doesn't pull away, his tears still silently falling. With a little more confidence Steve places his hand over Bucky’s urging him to let go of the pillow he’d got a death grip on. Reluctantly he lets go, looking down at where his hand is wrapped around Steve’s who gives their hands a light squeeze.

“I’m sorry.” He splutters, shaking his head feeling embarrassed at Steve seeing him like this.

“Don’t be, you’re only human Buck, you’re allowed to miss your mom, you’re allowed to cry and be scared."

All he can do is continue to nod as Steve soothingly brushes his fingers over his trembling hand. They remain quiet for several minutes as Bucky remains curled up with his legs tucked under himself the cushion on his lap held by one hand as his left hand is firmly held in Steve’s, warm and safe.

He looks up to find Steve staring at him, his eyes soft and caring. He smiles shyly and looks back down to his lap. “We’ve never been apart- until I came here- I – my dad – he left when I was a kid, mom – she’s the strongest person I know. Leaving her is the hardest thing I’ve done, but she was – is – proud of me and that’s all I’ve ever wanted.” He dares to look up at Steve his cheeks a little flushed.

“And I’m sure she is bud, look at what you've been doing. Helping people who desperately need it. Even I’m proud of you.” He smiles softly.

“Thank you. Its just hard you know. Are – are your parents doing okay?” He asks, he’d not heard Steve talk to his parents once now he thought about it.

A sad smile graces Steve’s lips. “Oh – they – they passed. My mom a few years back and my dad when I was a kid.”

Bucky squeezes Steve's hand. “I’m sorry, I just -”

Steve cuts him off. “It’s fine, you weren’t to know.”

“Do you have any siblings?”

Steve shakes his head. “No just me, ma used to say I was enough to handle.” he laughs sadly.

Coming more to his senses Bucky realises even in the dim lighting the hard definition of Steve’s abdomen, the veins in his biceps running down to where his hand was still firmly clasping his own. He subconsciously licks his lips tearing his gaze away. “Sorry – I uh – I was about to go to bed.”

“You’ll be okay?” Steve questions, his voice laced with concern.

Bucky nods, the sting of tears still lingering in his eyes.

“You know where I am if you want me, just knock.” Steve reluctantly lets go of the other man's hand, standing.

Bucky smiles, almost reaching his eyes. “I appreciate it, thank you.” He watches Steve disappear off into the darkness of the hallway to his room, definitely _not_ letting his gaze linger on the outline of his back, hell even _those_ muscles were defined. He shakes his head at himself before leaving the empty plate on the counter and retreating back to his room, feeling exhausted but a little less lonely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! As always! :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who knew the power of a packet of biscuits? Enjoy I hope :)

Sunday brings a little more normalcy. Steve is working on his laptop in the kitchen, no rest for the wicked as they say. Sipping his coffee he feels eyes on the back of his head, turning around to see Bucky leaning against the counter. Taking in his appearance he swallows thickly at seeing the other man’s hair pulled into a loose bun, wearing an oversized sweater and sweatpants that outlined his ass perfectly. Clearly unaware of Steve’s fluster he takes a hesitant step closer, after all, the moment from the night before had left more questions than answers.

“Sorry for getting all gross on you last night.” He casts his eyes to the floor with a half shrug.

Steve laughs softly. “It’s okay Buck, like I said you’re allowed to get upset.”

“Yeah.”

Afraid he’ll say something stupid before his brain engages he quietly goes about making breakfast for himself the only noise being that of Steve typing at his keypad.

“Thanks for the food too, you got my favourites.” He smiles coyly at the other man once he settles in the seat opposite, cereal and biscuits in hand.

Steve feels a tad smug but maintains a soft smile in return. “Well I didn’t want you going without. And before you say it no you’re not paying me back.”

Bucky chuckles shaking his head. “I guess you know me already.”

“Well I wouldn’t say that. I just know you like sweet things.” _Like you_. Steve feels his heart rate increase at the thought, this was just getting worse.

“Yeah, my mom used to get Oreo's every week, we used to sit and watch Netflix some nights sharing the packet. Sorry that sounds way more stupid out loud.” He sighs, staring into his bowl.

“Not at all. You know I eat pickles all the time, cant stand ‘em but my ma loved them, always reminds me of her.” He shrugs, the fond memories tugging at his chest.

Bucky nods. “Want one?” He tentatively holds out the familiar blue packet to Steve.

Steve grins. “First time for everything.” he takes a biscuit, spinning it between his fingers.

Bucky’s jaw drops comically. “Fuck off!” he says incredulously, his voice at least an octave higher.

Steve raises his eyebrows, Bucky visibly retreats into himself. “Army doesn't always give you the luxury of these pal.” He smirks, taking a bite.

“You haven't lived Steve seriously.” He gushes, his eyes lighting up as he watches the other man intently.

“Maybe you should show me.” Steve winks.

Bucky flushes furiously, dropping his spoon into his empty bowl with a loud clatter. “Yeah..” He mumbles quietly. _You can do this Barnes_. “Don’t want to give you too much to handle though.” He looks directly at Steve, the grey of his eyes visibly darkened.

_Is he –_ Before he lets himself overthink Steve throws the rest of the biscuit into this mouth,“Oh is that how it is?”

Bucky can’t tear his gaze away, watching the other man swallow the last of his mouthful. “I’m gonna – I need to shower.” He stands up, swiftly making his way out of the kitchen. _Interesting_. Steve thinks to himself, a smug grin plastered to his face as he reaches for the blue packet.

From the safety of the locked bathroom Bucky stares at himself in the mirror, his cheeks still flushed, his heart racing, his boxers feeling so incredibly tight.

“Fuck.” He breathes out, stripping out of his clothes into the shower stall.

Once the water is running he’s grateful for the minor distraction from the man who may have just flirted with him. The thought alone again sends all the blood south again as he feels heat pool low in his abdomen. Up until now he’d done everything he could to stop himself from allowing the pleasure of thoughts of the other man to be acted upon. Before he’s unable to stop his right hand lightly brushes over his hardening length, teasingly stroking. Bucky's eyes fall closed as he leans back against the wall of the shower, his strokes increasing with purpose. _I’m going to hell anyway_ he thinks to himself as his hardened length twitches in his hand, imagining the taller man on his knees in front of him, the water cascading off his biceps, down his chest as he slowly licks his way up every inch, his lips stretched around his cock as it hits the back of his throat. Bucky’s own hand speeds up, his cock aching desperate for release. _“You gonna shoot your load all over me?” Steve looks up at Bucky, his blue eyes darkened, pupils dilated with arousal, tongue licking precome from the head of his cock and large hand covering the rest._ Bucky’s heart pounds, the all too familiar tightening feeling taking over his body, legs trembling. _“Fuck Steve.”_ He moans, as he comes hard over his hand and the glass of the shower screen, white streaks coating it. He closes his eyes tight, the intensity leaving him breathless. Several deep steadying breaths later he regains sensation, opening his eyes to the mess covering the shower. Flushing deeply he washes the evidence away and steps out of the shower. With his senses coming to him guilt sets in. _Fuck_. He dries off quickly and makes a dash to his room, slamming the door a little too vigorously, Steve must have heard that from the kitchen.

What he fails to realise is that in fact, Steve, is in his bedroom, not the kitchen. The walls were only so thick, and Bucky had only been so quiet. Steve sits on the edge of his bed. _Holy shit_.

He had only come into his room to grab his laptop charger and change into something a little less scruffy when mid change he’d heard what definitely sounded like his name coming from the other man's lips, and in that way he was convinced. _Was Bucky? No – surely not_. Although the straining tent in Steve’s sweats told him otherwise, it may have only been two words but fuck they weren’t leaving his mind any time soon. He palms himself through the thin material, the pressure alone causing him to suppress a groan, it felt good but it wasn’t enough. It’d been a considerable amount of time since he’d felt this aroused, usually only getting himself off quickly as a means of stress relief not because he wanted to per se, but this was different. Pushing his boxers down letting his hardened cock finally free of it’s confines an embarrassing cry escapes his lips. He wraps his left hand around himself, trembling at the touch, he felt like a teenager again the overwhelming burning heat and lust coursing through his veins. Hell he’d not even felt this aroused by his ex not that they’d exactly been intimate that often with each other. Forcing those thoughts to the back of his mind he focuses on the blue-grey eyes only a room away, the way he licks his lips before he’s about to eat, his tongue darting out ever so slightly, the way he tucks his hair behind his ears exposing more of his perfect face and jaw, his tanned arms, slightly smaller than Steve’s but nonetheless strong, his hands also soft, delicate looking. Picturing those around his cock Steve brings his hand up to his lips, covering his palm in saliva, trying his hardest to refrain the moan at the contact as his hand tightens around his cock both saliva and precome adding to the sensation, with a twist of his wrist and his thumb brushing over the reddened head his cock pulses, his orgasm knocking the air out of him as his stomach becomes covered and he collapses back onto the bed, chest heaving. _“Holy – fuck.”_ Steve exhales, looking down at the mess on his body and hand. He lets go of his cock, but feeling the remnants of arousal he strokes it once more, the sensitivity causing him to bite down on his lip to suppress a strangled moan. Regretfully, he grabs his old tshirt to wipe himself and throws on his favourite red check shirt, Sam had teased him endlessly he looked like a lumberjack but he loved it anyway. It's barely 1pm and the day had proved to be the most interesting in months.

Following his shower Bucky remains in his room till late afternoon, part embarrassment from what he’d done part nerves at what more could potentially happen, if his thought’s had been right and Steve had been flirting back. The unnerving worry was that’d he not exactly been in a relationship before, sure he’d met guys and yeah had fun but one guy had taken it too far and without Bucky’s consent had gotten what he’d wanted. Since then he’d been incredibly wary of any guys intentions, he wasn’t just a toy to be used when it suited someone else, hence the fact that he already lived with Steve was making things difficult, if something did happen between them and end up spiralling badly it’d be awkward to deal with let alone the thought of having nowhere to live. Scrubbing a hand over his face he forces himself off of his bed, sugar would cure this stress, just as Steve had said he did love sweet things the man wasn’t wrong. Steve’s laptop remains in the kitchen but at no sight of the man the brunettes brown furrows, the TV is playing quietly in the background.

“Steve?” He calls.

At no response he steps over to the couch to find a mop of brown hair resting on the arm of the couch, followed by the curled up body of Steve his legs tucked under him and arms folded tightly over his chest. Bucky’s chest swells at the sight, Steve looking peaceful- and beautiful, his features relaxed. He carefully takes a seat at the other end of the couch, turning towards the TV smiling as another 90s cartoon plays, Recess this time. He cant help but glance across at Steve his large frame folded up impossibly small.

He quietly gets out his phone, scrolling through social media aimlessly for a while, his gaze switching between the sleeping man beside him and the TV. A couple hours later movement to his right pulls his attention away from the level of candy crush he’d been stuck on for months and returned to whenever he had a spare moment.

“Bucky?” Steve asks through half open eyes, his voice laced with sleep, thick and hoarse _and_ a hell of a turn on.

“Hey..” His lips curve into a small smile as he turns his head towards the other man. 

“How long have you been there?”

“Couple hours give or take.” He shrugs, resting his head on the back of the couch. 

Steve frowns, rubbing at his temples. “Why didn’t you wake me? Sorry for being shit company.”

“Don't be, you can rest. Isn’t that what this time is about, looking after yourself.”

“Yeah – no of course. Didn’t realise I was that tired.” _If only he knew why_. Steve pushes the thought aside.

Bucky hesitates for a few moments looking back at the TV. “I can – if you want make dinner? You can rest it’s fine.”

Steve's eyes widen as he quickly pushes himself into a sitting position.“No no! I'll help I’m not letting you do it on your own.”

Quirking an eyebrow he fires Steve a mock glare.“Are you implying I cant cook?” Bucky teases.

“No of course not, I've seen you make a perfect bowl of cereal many a time.” Steve replies, a shit eating grin plastered over his face.

“Well Steve, prepare to be blown away.” Bucky winks in a feat of confidence and stands up in front of where the larger man is sitting and holds his hand out. Steve looks at his hand and up to his face before accepting it and finding himself being pulled to his feet with ease, the guy was a lot stronger than he looked, and his hand was soft. _Fuck._

Bucky lets go of his hand as soon as he’s standing and sets off to the kitchen pulling things out of the fridge.

Steve stands watching him for several moments as his heart aches at the want for a domestic life, not with anyone, but the man currently elbow deep in the fridge, talking to the vegetables he’s looking for. He feels himself tear up, pinching the bridge of his nose and taking a shaky breath he makes his way over to the chaos already taking over the kitchen. If he wasn’t already in deep enough he could feel himself getting further from the shallows the more he spent time with Bucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone needs comfort sometimes right?

Dinner is a relatively easy affair, much to Steve’s surprise Bucky _can_ in fact cook, he may create as much mess as a toddler but the guy knows how to work a kitchen, producing a spicy chicken dish which Steve practically moans his way through eating.

“Fuck man, you can cook!” Steve beams at the other man as he takes both of their empty plates to the sink.

A faint blush forms on the brunettes cheeks. “I’m glad you like it. My mom taught me some of my childhood favourites before I left so I could feel closer to home.” He shrugs keeping his eyes downcast to his glass.

“Well tell your mom thank you for me.” Steve replies earnestly as he begins to wash up the plates.

“Yeah I – I will. I think I might go call her now, tell her how it went that I didn’t burn the house down.” He laughs weakly.

Steve turns to face his roommate. “Of course. Well I’ll be out here if you wanted to watch movie or something later, or not that’s cool, I'll be here.” He offers. _Don’t_ _get your hopes up you idiot._

Bucky nods and retreats to his room, _not_ glancing one more time as he watches Steve’s biceps flex as he wipes down the kitchen counter.

As Bucky sits down on his bed, phone clutched in his hand he awaits his mom's call, he’d messaged her asking to talk and she’d replied instantly saying she’d see if his sister was free too as she’d be upset if she missed out on a family call. If the last call was anything to go by he’d be a sobbing mess an hour later, not what he wanted Steve to see. _Again_. Once was embarrassing enough considering the guy had barely known him.

With a sudden burst of sound the ringer indicates an incoming call, he settles back against his headboard waiting to see his mom and hopefully sisters face. Considering he’d spoken to them the day before he hoped they wouldn't be too suspicious about him calling again. No such luck, a mother always knows, and sister for that fact.

“So – Bucky – Bucky-Bear.” His sister narrows her eyes at him.

“Uh – yeah?” He panics, his voice strained already. _Fucking hell Barnes._

“And what reason do we have to see your gross face again?” She makes a point, grinning wickedly at her brother.

“Rebecca!” His mom scolds, rolling her eyes at the camera with a fond smile at her children.

“I just, missed you guys..” He mumbles lamely, taking his eyes off the screen in an attempt to fight off the telltale blush threatening to rise to his cheeks.

At the silence in reply he looks back at the screen to find both his mom and sister leaning closer to their screens, eyeing him suspiciously their blue eyes staring at him expectantly.

“Spill it bro. You’ve got that guilty look going on, doesn’t he mom?” Becca points to her brothers face.

Winifred nods, her brow furrowed in concern. “Son – is everything okay?”

Bucky looks to the ceiling before back at his mom and sister, still leaning as far into the camera they may as well be delving into his brain and inner most thoughts. He shudders at the thought.

He clears his throat awkwardly, feeling as though his mouth had become full of sandpaper. “Yeah of course. I cooked that spicy chicken dish for Steve and I tonight.. just wanted to tell you it was really nice, I didn’t burn anything or poison anyone..” he shrugs, his lips curving into a tight, small smile.

“Steve?” Both women say in unison.

Bucky visibly blushes. _Oh god. Oh no. Why did you think this was a good idea._ He curses himself as both women await his response.

“You know, the guy who owns this place..” He replies nonchalantly.

“Ohh, okay. Dinner for two I see.” Becca smirks.

Winifred scowls at her daughter. “Let your brother talk! How is Steve? You’ve never really spoken about the house owner.”

Bucky takes a deep breath. “He’s.. yeah he’s nice. He got me some groceries the other day, I’ve never really spent so long around him I didn’t really know him that well.”

“And does Steve.. mind you being around more?” His mom questions, a mischievous glint in her eye.

Unable to hide his blush from his keen eyed family Bucky sighs. “No, he’s great actually, really great. I’m glad I've got some company to keep me sane. He – he listens and puts up with me I guess.”

A light frown crosses his sisters brow. “Don't you start that self deprecating shit with me. You’re a great guy bro, he’s the one lucky to have you around.”

“What your sister said James. You need to believe in yourself more. And if you do have any inkling of feelings like I suspect you may do. Just be yourself, just because the world has stopped son doesn’t mean your life has, we just want you to be happy. Love still exists and it comes in all forms.” She smiles softly at her son.

Emotion overcomes him as his eyes well up. “Thank you guys. I miss you both so much, I'll message you. See you next week?”

His sister nods. “You know it Buck. Now go get your I'm assuming handsome house mate. Fill us in next week but spare the details, PG only.” She laughs winking at Bucky.

His mother chuckles shaking her head at them both. “I love you.”

They say their goodbyes and Bucky collapses back onto his bed, letting out an unsteady breath. A mixture of excitement and nerves running through his veins, causing him to practically vibrate on the spot. Taking a few deep breaths and feeling a little less shaky he walks out to the kitchen to grab a cold drink. Steve's sitting on the couch watching a movie as already said, he gives Bucky a soft smile at hearing him in the kitchen but remains quiet. Once Bucky has grabbed a drink he smiles back in return and heads back to his room, a tug in his chest as he becomes further away from the other man.

The looming upset lingers over him all evening, pretending he’s fine until his throat becomes constricted and a sob threatens to escape his lips. He reads the clock its nearing 1am, he gets up and knocks on Steve’s door. _What are you doing go back to bed._ Despite his inner turmoil his feet keep him firmly planted at Steve’s door and on hearing movement he pushes the door open to find the other man still awake, book on his chest as his bedside lamp softly illuminates his features. Bucky stands at the door, twisting his hands inside his sweater sleeves, he looks at Steve with sad eyes, trying desperately not to cry. He wasn’t weak.

Wordlessly Steve places his book down on the table and shuffles backwards in bed, he looks up at Bucky and holds his left arm out, his expression soft, silently offering what Bucky so desperately craves. Comfort. Safety.

He all but launches himself into the other man's safe arms as he curls up on top of the covers, his face buried against Steve’s chest as he feels an arm firmly wrap around his shoulders, soothingly rubbing his back. They remain like that for a while, until Bucky lifts his head up and shifts backwards away from the warmth he’d missed for so long.

“Sorry – I just -” He all but whispers not knowing what else to say.

Steve sits up straighter but his hand remains on Bucky’s knee. “You don’t need to explain yourself Buck.”

Bucky nods and discretely casts his eyes over Steve’s body, his biceps tensed over the covers, his tshirt snug around them.

“In fact I hear it’s even warmer under the covers.” Steve breaks the silence with a chuckle, just as Bucky’s gaze reaches his face, his eyes widen.

“Oh – if – if you’re sure?” He stutters. _He can’t be serious._

He is.

Steve pulls the covers down as much as he can and Bucky tentatively settles himself underneath pulling them up to his chin, _not_ inhaling the scent of the other man. He silently curls into himself turning away from Steve, his warmth radiating through the bed. Both men remain silent for sometime, just laying in the darkness.

_Do it. It can either end badly – or badly._ Steve becomes restless his arms desperate to reach out and comfort a clearly upset Bucky, his need to protect him and keep him safe taking over all other emotions.

“Can I touch you?” He eventually asks, shifting on his side where Bucky is faced away his head barely visible.

Bucky just nods grateful that Steve can’t see his face.

_Holy shit._ Steve struggles to maintain his sudden nerves as he manoeuvres himself ever so slowly giving Bucky a chance to move away until his chest is flush with the brunettes back, he gently wraps his arm around his waist, pulling him into a tight embrace. In return Bucky shakily lowers his right hand down to cover Steve’s on his waist.

“Thank you.” He lets out a soft sigh.

“I’m glad you came to me. Try to sleep I'm not going anywhere.” Steve whispers his voice soft yet reassuring.

Any other circumstance Steve would have been burning with desire, but Bucky needed comfort, he needed safety and a home. And hell if Steve wasn't going to try and give the man in his arms everything he could. The fact Bucky had reached out to him, that didn't leave his mind as he drifted off to sleep holding onto the other man as tight as he could.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning as Bucky wakes up, eyes squinting, hazy light filters through the blinds as he takes in the décor of the room. Definitely not his room. Suddenly feeling far too awake and conscious to his surroundings he sits up, scrubbing his hands over his face harshly, forcing tangled strands of hair out of the way. He cautiously looks to his right to find the bed empty and shakily lets out a breath he didn't know he’d been holding. _But – how?_ He thinks to himself as he slowly begins to recall the events of the night before. Just as he’s about to dart out of bed into the safety of his own room a quiet knock sounds at the door.

“Buck? You awake?” Steve’s voice quietly calls through the door.

 _Pretend to be asleep. Pretend to be asleep_. “Uh – yeah I am.”

Steve cracks open the door a few inches, smiling instantly as he takes in the other man’s soft, sleepy appearance. “Did you want a coffee or something? I just made a pot.”

Still unable to fully form words trying to comprehend what the hell happened he nods dumbly.

“Great. I’ll bring it in.” With that the door closes and he’s once again left alone to this thoughts.

By the time Steve reappears, knocking again, like the annoying charming gentlemen he is Bucky has tied his hair back into a bun and is sitting cross legged on top of the covers.

“You didn't – this is your room – I..” He stutters, looking at Steve with panic stricken eyes.

Steve places a hand over Bucky’s knee. “Buck it’s fine. Stay here if you want I don’t mind.” He sets the mug of coffee down alongside the all too familiar blue packet of sweetness.

Bucky can’t help the small smile which tugs at the corner of his lips.

“Thank you” He all but whispers suddenly feeling shy at Steve’s presence.

“How’re you doing?” Steve’s voice breaks him out of his daze.

He glances up to find Steve looking down at him, an unreadable expression on his face. “I – better. I’m sorry again.”

The taller man shakes his head. “Don’t be. Like I said I’m glad you came to me and if I could help at all..” he trails off not wanting to sound too hopeful. His mom had told him countless times as a kid he got his hopes up too much, and she wasn’t wrong.

“You did – a lot.” Bucky nods, his lips curving into a faint shy smile.

Steve beams sitting down at the foot of the bed and Bucky takes a sip of his coffee feeling his body warm and relax at the smooth liquid.

“I’ll just be out here working if you want me, take your time I just want you to be comfortable.”

Bucky looks down at the bed covers his emotions still all over the place. “As long as you’re sure I don't want to be invading your privacy I know our rooms are the only place we get.”

Steve frowns. “Don't be silly, stay please.” He stands up and pats Bucky’s shoulder before heading out the room leaving the door ajar.

Bucky looks around properly at the room, Steve's room isn’t quite what he'd expected but its so – _Steve_ – a few retro posters pinned to the grey-blue walls, a desk similar to his own placed by the window scattered with papers, pens, sketchbooks. And a few items of clothing hanging over the back of the chair, including the shirt he’d worn the day before. Bucky takes one look towards the closed door before standing up to look out the window – a view he’d not seen before – and places his hands on the back of the chair, the material of the shirt soft under his fingers. He cautiously lifts it from it’s place and brings it to his chest, smelling of Steve, a woody musk with hint of spice. He inhales deeply before placing the item back where it came from. _The fuck is wrong with you man?_ He rolls his eyes at his own stupidity and with one last look heads back to his own room a sad smile on his face.

What he fails to realise is that Steve had watched the whole moment, retaking a seat back at the kitchen counter he replays the last few minutes in his head. _Did he? Does – Does that mean?_ His thoughts a jumble, just like his emotions over the last couple of weeks. He tries to busy himself with on his laptop occasionally glancing up in the hopes of the other man rounding the corner into the kitchen.

Early afternoon Bucky finally appears after having showered and spent far too long pacing the length of his room willing himself to face Steve.

“Hey Steve.” He smiles offering a brief wave towards the other man.

Steve’s head lifts up from his laptop at an almost comical speed. “Oh! Hey man.” He replies his voice an octave higher as he takes in Bucky's soft appearance, his hair is half up and he’s wearing black sweats with an old Star Wars t shirt which fits his biceps perfectly. Subconsciously licking his lips Steve realises Bucky is in fact talking to him.

“Sorry, - what was that?” He flushes.

Bucky rolls his eyes, a wry smile on his face as he walks to stand closer to where Steve is. “I said – maybe we could watch that movie you said about later? If you’d like – or not it’s okay I can just play a game or something.” he shrugs.

“No!” Steve all but shouts a little too enthusiastically.

Bucky quirks an eyebrow, biting back a grin.

Steve clears his throat looking up at the other man embarrassed. “I mean sure that’d be great Buck.”

“Okay, when do you finish work?” He gestures to the laptop.

Steve closes the laptop lid grinning. “Whenever I want. I’m all yours. Is that good for you?” _Oh fucking hell Rogers get a grip of yourself._

A slight blush appears on the brunettes cheeks. “Oh yeah no of course. I’ll just make something to eat haven't really eaten today apart from those oreos, thank you for that." 

“You don't need to thank me I just – I know you like them.” With that Steve brushes past Bucky to take a seat on the couch needing to have some distance between his roommate knowing they’d be in close company for the next few hours.

Bucky nods and quietly goes about making a grilled cheese sandwich for himself, placing a plate on Steve’s lap as he takes a seat.

“For me?” He raises his eyebrows in surprise.

Bucky rolls his eyes, knocking his shoulder against the blondes larger one. “No for the ghost living here. Yes you punk.”

“Jerk.” Steve mock pouts but fails to hide his grin.

Bucky scrolls through to pick a movie, settling on the sci-fi from the eighties which he’d seen a poster of in Steve's room.

“I love this movie!” Steve announces excitedly, literally bouncing in his seat like an over excited puppy.

“Me too.” Bucky beams back in reply, albeit not as lively as the other man.

They quietly watch the movie as the afternoon goes on, making comments and criticisms here and there, but mainly enjoying the presence of one another’s company, words not needed. It's homely, domestic, a feeling both men so desperately longed for.

That evening Bucky lays in bed unable to sleep, he’d tried all his usual methods – candy crush until he’d given up, writing until his brain couldn't form the words, relaxing music in his earphones. He wasn’t in the mood for _that_ kind of stress relief either as much as it would most likely tire him.

Oblivious to him across the hall Steve paces up and down the length of his room, holding the familiar red check material in his hands. He’d sprayed it with a little more of his cologne but had since spent the last fifteen minutes unable to finish what he’d started. _Just do it. Open the door. Drop the shirt and go._ _Now_. With a steadying breath Steve opens his bedroom door agonisingly slowly knowing that if it’s opened with force it lets out a horrific squeak. Once his door is open he casts a glance down the hallway and at the closed door in front of him. With an almost throw he places the shirt on the floor and knocks once retreating to his room at a speed even Sonic would be impressed with, stupid idea or not it was too late now.

With a frown Bucky places his phone down mid read of a news article on an upcoming space expedition as a knock sounds at his door. He pads over to the door, opening it slightly except the hall way is empty, he looks up and down several times straining to hear for any noise. It isn't until he's about to close his door that he notices an object on the floor beside his feet. He bends down to pick it up blushing as soon as he realises the soft material under his fingers. He closes the door and makes his way back to bed the fabric tight in his grasp as he lays back down, the shirt illuminated by his bedside lamp. He holds it close to him, the scent a little stronger than earlier in the day. He’s caught up in the moment for several seconds until it hits him. Steve _must_ have seen him. His heart rate picks up as quick as the flush spreads down his body. Still holding the material close to his chest he turns the light off and lays in the darkness surrounded by the comfort and scent of the other man. Despite his rapid heartbeat he finds himself falling asleep easier than he has in weeks, Steve's shirt not leaving his grasp all night long.

Not waking until late next morning he spends far too long deliberating what to do with the shirt before he decides to place it under his pillow.

Steve's already in the kitchen clearly in the middle of a Skype call so he sits on the couch quietly until he’s finished.

“Buck you don’t need to hide. You live here too.” He chuckles looking over to where Bucky is perched on the edge of the couch.

He shrugs before making his way into the kitchen. “I just didn’t want to be in the way.”

“You’re not. Did – did you sleep okay?” He asks cautiously not wanting to make the other man uncomfortable

Bucky flushes, the lint on his t shirt suddenly becoming incredibly interesting. “Yeah, actually, much better.”

Steve just smiles. The shirt isn't brought up from either of them.

“Hey so I've got to head out for a bit one of the VA guys isn't doing too good so I said I’d chat to him through his window, did you want any groceries?” Steve asks a few moments later as Bucky pours himself a coffee. 

“Oh no its okay, I've got some online promotional stuff to do for the bakery, social media you know that kind of thing so everyone knows we’re still here for them. But I don't think I'll be going back for a while they’ve chosen me as the online guy as I'm younger than most of them there and apparently it's too difficult for them.” he rolls his eyes.

Steve chuckles. “I'll make sure my guys down at the VA know about you.”

Bucky pauses mid sip, his mug hovering over his lips. “You'd do that?”

The other man nods firmly. "Of course, you're important Buck.”

Bucky just nods and busies himself making his infamous bowl of cereal before sitting down on the couch.

The rest of the day passes in relative silence as Steve leaves shortly after, promising to stay safe and he’ll be back for dinner. Bucky settles on the couch as he begins work on the design for the advertisements with the TV filling the void and silence as he works, yet the lack of the other man, his company and presence making the apartment feel incredibly empty. With a sigh he makes another coffee before heading into his room and reaching under the pillow his fingers finding the material instantly. Sitting back on the couch, laptop on his lap and shirt firmly planted by his side he works feeling a little calmer. _You’re so stupid._ He thinks to himself but Steve’s belonging remains.

A little after four o'clock Steve returns, carrying a couple bags of groceries. “Hey man.”

Bucky closes his laptop at the sound of Steve's voice and hastily pushes the shirt under a couch cushion before turning to face his roommate. 

“We hosting a dinner party for us and the ghosts or something?” he chuckles raising an eyebrows at the full bags. The _we_ slipping out before his brain can register.

“Maybe _we_ are..” Steve picks up on it. Of course he does ever the observant bastard.

Bucky shakes his head but goes to help the other man. They work in comfortable silence cleaning the produce and packing away.

“Was you okay today?” Steve asks as he washes fresh fruit.

“Of course.” Bucky nods, eyeing the taller man as he dries a handful of plums, the image causing a stir low in his abdomen. _It's fruit. Fucking fruit Barnes._

Completely unaware of his actions Steve smiles softly. “Good I'm glad. I worried about you.”

Bucky casts his eyes at he floor as he puts the last of the items away in fear of what other potentially phallic items Steve could pull out of the bags. 

“You don't need to worry about me I'm always okay.” he half shrugs.

“Bucky.” Steve replies in a firm voice.

He glances up to find Steve giving him a pointed stare, plums thankfully nowhere to be seen. “You don't need to pull that shit with me. I care about you man.”

Bucky nods, a little taken back at hearing his name sound so.. deliberate. “I’m okay now honestly. I was busy, made time go quicker, it was quiet though.” _I missed you._

“Are you calling me loud?” Steve quirks an eyebrow, folding his arms over his chest. 

“No no.. god no, Steve I didn't - “ he panics, first the tone of his voice, now his stance. The last thing he needs is an argument, Steve doesn't need to know raised voices elicit upset and fear, he'd already shown the other man how pathetic he could be. 

Steve reaches an arm out, the move not going unnoticed when the other man retreats into himself ever so slightly. “Buck it's okay I'm messing with you.” he says softly. 

“Oh… " Bucky visibly relaxes, his shoulders dropping. 

“Look go sit down I'll make something for us.” Steve ushers Bucky to sit down whilst he heads back into the kitchen.

Dinner is eaten on the couch together with another old sci-fi movie on as quiet noise. Once cleared away they continue to watch it's sequel, their knees touching as they gravitate towards the centre of the couch. Steve chances a look at the other man as he's engrossed in the movie. The TV reflecting off his eyes as they crease when he smiles. Steve is _so_ gone. Desperately wanting to reach out and touch his stubbled cheek and run his fingers through his brown locks.

Some time later he closes his eyes revelling in the warmth of the other man next to him. Bucky feels the weight of the Steve slump against him, he chances to look across to find him peacefully asleep. He stays seated until the end of the movie when he can't feel his arm anymore being squashed by Steve's - sculpted - large frame.

“Steve,” he gently knees the other man's leg. 

“What's that?” He pushes himself off of the warmth he'd burrowed into.

Bucky's lips curve into a small smile as he watches the other man fondly. “Movies over old man. I’m gonna head to bed I think I've lost all feeling in my arm.” He attempts to life it up, the numbness and tingling hitting every nerve. 

Steve comes to his senses moving to his end of the couch. “Shit sorry Buck.” He replies sheepishly.

Bucky stands up, comically waving his arm around to regain sensation as he attempts to salute goodnight to Steve. 

“Hey Buck” Steve calls out from the living area as the brunette reaches his bedroom. 

“Yeah?” He calls out turning back the way he'd came. 

Bucky reappears to find Steve holding the all to familiar red shirt out, a small smile on his lips. 

“Uh – I thought you might want this.” He holds the shirt out between them both, his eyes avoiding the other man.

Bucky takes a couple steps forward taking it into his grasp, a blush threatening to appear, thank god for the dim lighting.

“Oh.. thank you.” he whispers taking the item.

“Keep it.” Steve all but whispers as he dares to look up to find Bucky holding the fabric tightly in his hands. A shy smile forms on Bucky's lips as he thumbs over the material and heads into his room.

Steve lies awake in bed his thoughts once again in overdrive knowing the man only a short distance away was clearly comforted by his belongings. If only he was holding him in person, not just his beloved lumberjack shirt.

**Author's Note:**

> Disney+ is the isolation saviour. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, kudos and all that are appreciated. 
> 
> Be kind. Be safe. Go West. 
> 
> I mean be you!


End file.
